A letter…

Dear Two Men Who Stole my Wallet at Nørreport Station Yesterday,

I salute you. No, really. No, really. I think you guys are awesome. I mean, just think about it. Single-handedly, two grown men, you guys managed to sneak the wallet out of a single young woman’s cheap pleather bag. Just like that! And the way that one of you blocked my way when I tried to get on that train, thus distracting me while that other one of you got hold of my wallet? Brilliant! Very, very sophisticated! I mean, wow… just, wow. That’s teamwork! That’s working together as a group! And seriously, as regards boldness, as regards bravery, it’s right up there with those 30 courtiers who kidnapped that little 15-year-old girl in Rigoletto. In fact, are you guys in the same union? I bet you are! That is so cool. I bet your union is called CCU (Criminal Cowards United), and I bet you’ve got this really neat slogan, like, “Don’t let people screw you over – that’s your job!”.

Blasé cynics might argue that it was somewhat stupid of you to try to press my security code at an automat so many times that the card was automatically blocked, but really; how were you supposed to know that that’s not the best way to go about breaking a code – pressing random numbers? There was really no way you could know that. I still say you guys did a great job and have reason to be proud of yourselves. You rawk.

In fact, what are your MSN IDs? ‘Cause I’d love to add you to my contacts. I’d love to discuss all kinds of things with you. Like, how you spent my 100 kroner bill and all! That would be so cool to know. Like, I was going to spend it on something like food or maybe medicine for my incurably sick hand, but I’ll bet you guys made much better use of it! E-mail me!




March 6, 2006. Letters, Rants.

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