Hammershark Fight on youtube!

Imagine my delight when I found this rare clip on youtube, showing the verbal battle between two hammersharks both featured in our initial hammershark list – Joan Collins and Kathleen Beller. Both actresses are great examples of the “Soap Opera Hammershark” – individuals with hammershark tendencies are often to be found on soap operas, because their striking eyes give them expressionable faces, well suited for the high drama of the genre. One will take care to note, however, that while Joan Collins’ (Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan’s) hammersharkness is clearly used to emphasize that certain Jackie O-like elegance and sophistication, width between eyes of Kathleen Beller (Kirby Alicia Anders Colby) rather indicates something cute, infantile, vulnerable, and innocent, as seen on child-star hammersharks, such as Karle Warren. Arguably, this disparity of hammersharkness serves to intensify the scene between the two women.

For those unfamiliar with the soapy goldmine that is Dynasty, the dispute was caused by the fact that Alexis’s long-lost son Adam – with whom sophisticated hammershark Alexis quickly developed a borderline incestuous relationship after his return to her at age 27 – became fascinated by petite Kirby, cutesy hammershark and apparently daughter of the major domo at Adam’s long-lost father Blake’s mansion (even though it was totally unrealistic that the major domo, who was quite obviously a major domo homo and had a huge crush on Blake, would ever have been married to a woman and fathered a child). Failing to catch Kirby’s eyes (and who can blaim him?), a frustrated Adam raped Kirby, prompting the hammershark do run into the arms of Jeff Colby, Adam’s archnemesis, as well as Adam’s long-lost sister Fallon’s ex-husband, who immediately married her. However, as it turned out, Kirby was pregnant as a result of the rape, and when Jeff found out about this he was more than a little disgusted, and decided to divorce Kirby. A remorseful Adam then got the divorcee to accept his marriage proposal, but then Kirby fell ill and lost the child, well according to soap opera logic (which dictates that a child conceived by violence rather than love will not live), and that’s when Alexis came into the picture again, seeing no real reason why her long-lost-son, with whom she was just catching up in a borderline incestous manner, should marry her daughter’s ex-husband’s ex-wife now that she wasn’t carrying his rape-baby any longer. None of her business, one might venture. But as the clip will show, Alexis always has a few tricks up her sleeve to get things her way… So watch out, Kirby!

I hope you’ll enjoy it! I daresay hammershark Joan Collin’s venomous portrayal of Alexis is always enjoyable. Note for instance her snappy remark to her bodyguard: “Don’t you have an appointment at the Muscle Factory or somewhere equally intellectual?”

Also gotta love the dramatic music, and the awesome, over-the-top line: “You’re a liar! A liar!!” *sigh*, it is much too rare that one gets to use that line in everyday conversation.

 /marie

Alexis&Kirby

When hammersharks collide, things tend to get ugly…

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August 29, 2006. Hammersharks, Television.

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