Danish Music Awards Classical. What a Laugh
Yesterday evening Marie and I went to the Danish Music Awards! Doesn’t that just sound smashing?! And I had even been invited (or maybe I was just on the right mailing list). So very glamourous! Right? Well…it wasn’t. Probably because this was the show for classical music. And as we all know people who listen to classical music are past 50, boring, grey and would never wish for anything to be funny or glamourous. So the concert hall had a little bit of alternative (a.k.a. coloured) lighting and that was it. Marie and I had totally missed the dress code as we came in high heels, nice dresses and lip gloss and the rest of the audience had chosen the sweatshirt-jeans combination – and not in the cool what-do-I-care-way but more like…well-this-is-good-enough-for-me-way. In other words – we were among the elect few properly dressed for the red carpet.
The show began with the category “Best Danish Orchestra Release” presented by Lars Ulrik Mortensen. Who was – and this is when the provinciality of the whole project dawned on us – one of the three nominees as well! How sick is that?! And that wasn’t the only time it happened – they just kept on letting the presenters be nominees (or vice versa). Why not let the nominees present another category than their own? That’s been done before, just look at the Oscars. But no, no, no they just wanted to cut suspense to a 50/50 deal since the presenters of course never won themselves. Fortunately Marie and I had very bad seats on the second row to the extreme right of the stage which meant that we couldn’t see the presenters as they were standing on the extreme left. So we couldn’t follow their embarrassed expressions as they listened to a highlight of their own performance with a whole concert hall looking at them. Gosh, how stupid!
Well, Marie and I just let it all happen without much ado and only discussed the boredom a little bit in the intermission. But then. After the intermission we had reached “Best Danish Solo Release” (presented by pianist Christina Bjørkøe – also a nominee… ) which was won by cellist Morten Zeuthen. Morten Zeuthen, a little squared man bearing a striking resemblance to Charlie Brown, gets up on stage, opens his mouth and says: “Now this is festive”. He said it with an almost accusing air and that was about the last thing we heard him say since this was when we completely exploded in hysterical laughter. And it was one of those times when we just couldn’t stop. However since this has happened before we more or less knew how to tackle it so Marie almost turned her back to me and I stared frantically at the shoes of a bass player while biting my finger so hard I still have marks. Afterwards it turned out that we had both been thinking about dead family members in order to STOP LAUGHING.
After the show, still laughing, we went to a bar to drink cocktails and talk about hot men.
Without Marie, this would have been a night to forget but as it is we will now be saying/whispering/screaming “now this is festive” to each other whenever being bored in the future.
p.s. Still loving Johnny Caaaash.